A deep mistrust of others stems from a deeper mistrust of yourself. Before you snort and say: This one has had too much to drink! (Which in fact, is true but irrelevant.) Hear this: When you trust yourself, you believe in your capacity to live. That is, you have faith in your ability to survive, to make small or big decisions, to pursue your dreams, to explore, to question, to feel and to control your emotions and responses. Because you trust yourself, you will trust your judgement and your instincts. And you will be able to trust others. Granted you may give your trust out sparingly, but you will give it out wholeheartedly. Because trust and faith are interlinked. You trust yourself, and you trust others, and you are aware that they may or may not be trustworthy, but you have faith in yourself, you understand that regardless of whether they turn out to be worthy of your trust or not, you will still trust yourself. Because you trust yourself, you know you can live through anything. When someone breaks your trust, and this will happen, you will be able to learn from the experience and move on, because your trust in yourself remains intact. When the day comes that your self-trust is shaken to the core, and you feel that perhaps it is not them but you that cannot be trusted, do not turn to logic or sentiment to comfort yourself. Turn to the mirror and look into your eyes. Blink once, twice, open your mouth, close it, wave at yourself. You are in command of your body, you are in command of yourself. Doubt, fear, insecurity… These are dogs that will always and forever bark, but whether or not they bite depends on whether or not you let them. When you trust in yourself, you will be at peace with yourself because you know that trustworthy people are valuable, and valuable people are hard to find. And leaving without a joke is just plain rude.
News: it can be good but it’s mostly bad. Rape, murder, child abuse. Someone somewhere is a perpetrator, and someone somewhere is a victim. There you sit, reading, watching or listening to the news and often you lament in a monotone: oh that’s horrible. Poor girl. Poor guy. Poor kid. Other times you’re indifferent. It’s emotionally draining to care. But once in a while, you see it: the tear-bringer. An elephant massacre. You think: well if people can massacre people, it’s no surprise they’ll massacre animals. 86 elephants. Slaughtered. Left to rot and be forgotten. From majestic tusks and trunks to a pile of decaying flesh and bone. 33 of the elephants were pregnant females. It’s strange. You’ve seen worse, Rwandan genocide. The holocaust. And yet this story can’t seem to leave you alone. You go to the zoo and look at the elephants and you bite back a sob. Are you losing it? You’re reduced to a tearful mess over elephants. When the news moves to other matters the sadness turns to despair. Despair over how news never stops. How things never stop happening. How horrifying acts never take a day off. How do you watch the news without drifting into a despair-induced coma? Do you switch off? Act like an unfeeling creature. Do you ride the despair; let it crash over you like a wave and smash the air from out of your lungs? Decisions, decisions. What to do when you find yourself obsessing over the news? Breathe. And breathe some more. Let every breath remind you that you’re alive for a reason. Find that reason. Embrace that reason. If the news teaches you anything, it’s that the world doesn’t stop. It pauses to mourn, to celebrate; but it never stops. And you shouldn’t stop either. Take pauses, have moments of despair but soldier on as soon as you’ve recuperated. Your life is a gift; treasure it. And when despair knocks on your front door, let him in and show him out the back door.
Many people think they’ve been sent to this rock to evaluate and dictate other people and their everything, that is, lifestyle, sense of dress, personality, life goals, everything from one’s lucky socks to one’s stay-at-home clothes. Mostly, this interest in everyone else’s everything, is expressed due to love or concern. But sometimes, someone comes along with all the wrong intentions and sometimes, they manage to creep under your skin and make you feel that maybe, just maybe, you aren’t as adequate as you felt you were. Small comments, whispered words dripping with implications, snide remarks, thinly veiled sarcasm… Suddenly it seems the other person knows more about how you should dress or act than you do. Sounds preposterous. But it happens. And here’s a little golden nugget of information: Nothing you ever do will satisfy that person. Why? Because their issue isn’t with you, it’s with themselves. And the more you try to gain their approval, the more they’ll ask of you until eventually, you’re a mere husk of the glorious human being you once were.
The advice then is this: Live and let live. Live your life and let others live theirs. If your interference in other people’s lives is with good intentions, then hopefully good results will be produced. If however, your intentions are of a more sinister nature, how then can the results be good? And for those on the receiving end of the interference, a simple ‘thank you but no thank you’ will suffice. It’s not always easy but that’s just life being its usual female-dog self. And remember Spongebob knows best:
Tis the day of Sun, the day of rest and relaxation and the nursing of a tremendous hangover. For shame, this lover of vodka had naught to drink last night, which in turn made her wake up in a sober mood, ready to spew some sense to her victims. How happy is it that a complex idea can be discussed in such plain language? Here is that idea: ‘Don’t assume anything about a person; some people choose to only talk about the funny shit.’ -A saying borrowed from Twitter.
And voila! Idea discussed. Painless preaching this Sunday: I tell you, banish your assumptions.
If you have manners, you must mind them. If you haven’t any manners, you must kill yourself, begging your pardon, the correct instruction is ‘you must acquire some.’ A summary on manners for all occasions: Imagine if someone spoke to you the way you speak to them, said to you the things you say to them and did to you the things you do to them; then ask yourself- would I mind? If you enjoy being treated like a degenerate, get help. If not, try not to treat others that way. It’s pleasant (mostly) to take ‘a crap’, not take ‘crap from others.’ And… There is vodka to be had.