Monthly Archives: July 2012

Rough waters ahead


Every vessel will at some point (some vessels more frequently than others) encounter rough waters. And more often than not even the sturdiest, most experienced of ships may feel they cannot out sail a storm. This beloved drinker of all things alcoholic has established that no two storms are the same, simply because no two vessels are built the same way. And what one vessel might sail through easily another may struggle to get through. Does this mean there can be no sailing-through-storms manual? Who knows! Only remember that storms do not last forever, and the sun will always come out and clear away all the darkness, debris and doubt.

Related: So take a page from Incy Wincy Spider and keep climbing that spout. Persevere, always.


Monsters in your head


After a little hiatus, a euphemism for a fender bender, a euphemism for alcohol poisoning, a euphemism for a stint in rehab, a euphemism for hitting rock bottom COMMA this little piggy is back from the market with some handy advice: 1. When confronted with vivid, terrifying nightmares about , follow the following (*bursts out in song ‘Follow the yellow brick road*) procedures: a) panic unnecessarily b) realize it’s all in your head, then panic some more c) calm down enough to tell yourself you are in control (now that you’re awake) d) go over the dream out loud and realize how scary-but-nonsensical it was e) repeat step d) till you’re ready to face another round of sleep. f) skip step d) and e) and ‘see someone’, especially if nightmares are recurring.

A quote:

‘I have had dreams and I have had nightmares, but I have conquered my nightmares because of my dreams.’ Jonas Salk


Banish your assumptions


Tis the day of Sun, the day of rest and relaxation and the nursing of a tremendous hangover. For shame, this lover of vodka had naught to drink last night, which in turn made her wake up in a sober mood, ready to spew some sense to her victims. How happy is it that a complex idea can be discussed in such plain language? Here is that idea: ‘Don’t assume anything about a person; some people choose to only talk about the funny sh*t.’ -A quote stolen from a Twitter user whose handle I cannot remember, I do apologise!

And voila! Idea discussed. Painless preaching this Sunday: I tell you, banish your assumptions.